choco-top

hm.. what a sight of 4 beautiful charming girls savouring their choco-top ice cream sitting on the shopping mall floor next to an escalator means to you? hehi.. pretty pathetic, right?

tapi..live life to its fullest folks.. doing this.. and we managed to learn something in life.. the art of a loving mother cooing her very own 3 years old who is crying and throwing a tantrum just few steps after they passed us.. hmm i wonder what trigger the drama anyway...>:).. this young mother with a patience of an angel.. quietly hug her 3yrs old.. soothing him with quiet soothing words i guess.. and there.. 5 minutes later.. the boy was all smiling.. no ice cream needed.. no extended version of gimme...gimme...gimmme.. drama to be watched..

made us wonder.. what kind of mama will us be later in life.. hmm... it's still a long journey for us.. though 1 of us is already in our 3rd pregnancy.. 1 is on the way.. 1 is a "half" mother.. and another 1 is a proud auntie to a bunch of hyperactive kiddos.. ntah.. go figure girls..

alibi

selalu orang tak faham.. kenapa sy begitu mengambil berat pasal alibi... hmm.. kenapa ye sy begitu pentingkan alibi.. maybe..

when i just a small kid.. i watched a missing person scene turned bad.. the missing person was someone near to me.. earlier in his life he met with an accident.. he stand no chance if he had another head concussion..

one day he was missing... everyone was on edge.. looking for him.. due to his earlier head injury, he would experience momentary memory loss.. it was a frantic search..

after 2 days looking.. the worse became worst.. police called us at home.. asking one of his next of kin to identify the body.. it was him..

his body was found laying in a drain.. after the post-mortem.. doctor concluded that, he slipped and hit his head again..

hmm.. maybe i was traumatised.. i don't know hmm.. ntah... hopefully everyone around me can understand..

elderly

born on the 4th july.. haha.. not me.. was born in june.. my 29th june was the most chaotic month of my life.. chaotic... disastrous.. hmm.. thank god.. june is over..

Aug.. many things happend in Aug 2008.. 23 aug... the last time i met my grandma - alive.. i was preparing to go for PTD exam that weekend.. arrived in jb at 10.30pm.. after dinner with a lelaki.. i went back to my ucu's place.. atuk, ucu and adam was lying in bed.. watching a malay soap opera.. was a funny movie... atuk was laughing..

before i went to bed.. atuk told me, "baju yang yan bagi atuk aritu dah siap. tak tau la atuk sempat pakai tak maser ko kawin.."

".. takper. nanti yan belikan tudung.."

i went to sleep. on 23 aug.. i woke up late.. while rushing preparing.. i heard atuk busying herself in the kitchen.. she made me a glass of tea.. she took the effort to cool it for me so that i dont have to wait.. it was the last drink she prepared for me.. i am glad i took the time to finish it..

after the exam, i went back home and continue with my life.. on Thursday.. i took sometime to shop for a tudung.. i chose a cream colour tudung to match atuk's new green baju kurung.. but she never get the chance to wear it.. she left us that saturday.. a day before the holy month of ramadhan..

i can't keep her out of my mind.. she was always there...

"yan cakapla dgn ***, cepat2. atuk hajat bila yan kawin nanti, atuk nak bagi yan satu kain songket..".. she gave it to me before i got married instead..hmm.. maybe she knew, she'll be leaving us soon..

"..yan suka makan kerak dodol.." this happened when i was 5 or 6 years old... but even long after that, she still keep some of the kerak dodol everytime she made it... ibu never understood the reason for this... but luckily i still remember..

it's almost a year since she left us..why do i still feel guilty over her death... hmm ntah..sorry for hiding the truth i guess..

pokok baru

hhmmm.. manusia mmg suka nak membantu.. tp manusia sendiri yang suka sgt nak berselindung ..mengelak diri dari dibantu.. ego? secretive?

2days ago i went somewhere... 400 km, 5 hours drive and rm100 - to and from..this is the amount i have to pay to learn this lesson.. nothing big.. just a small gesture that manage to catch my attention - i'd told you it is really easy to get me..

i was in tesco... wandering aimlessly.. and there i saw my new hope.. i always refer pokok2 kecil nih as a "new hope".. green.. anxious.. eager to survive.. i carried my new hope as if my life is depending on it..

while queuing at the counter.. i met my new teacher..

aiya amoi..nexttime don't buy this flower la.. this one you can easily get from the tepi jalan.. you just petik (sambil membuat aksi memetik pokok)..

alamak uncle.. cannot.. that is uncivilised..

ok ..ok..

bla bla.bla..

he gave me all sort of advice to make sure my new hope survive. at first, i was hesitant to listen.. but then.. i have nothing to lose.. then it was his turn to pay his stuff... a full load of trolley.. he waived at me and asked me to pay 1st.. which i'mm very grateful since i have another 200km to drive before i reach home..

hmm.. during this 2.5 hours drive.. i thought.. there are so many good ppl around us.. are we one of the good ones.. or we're in the minority? hmm.. ntah.. hopefully i will not gained another enemy in my life..

rule

things happened.. everyday.. it makes life worth living.. then baru kiter tahu langit tuh tinggi or rendah.. before this when i heard this clause.. i will always think langit rendah as the atmosphere.. langit tinggi is referring to mesosphere.. (tau kan level2 langit : atmosfera, stratosfera, ionosfera, mesosfera).. but when you change your perspective towards this clause.. then it meant a different lot..

semalam i saw something.. something that managed to catch my eyes.. which is not hard to do actually..

a sight of a preteen girl sitting in a trishaw enjoying her ice cream... the trishawman was a man in his 60s.. the girl's father i assumed.. putting all the effort to cycle the old trishaw.. in the middle of 6.30pm traffic on a narrow street among the heartless lorries, schoolbusses, cars. Most probably he had been weathering the traffic since early in the morning... what do you think of this sight? should the role been reverse - the girl cycle.. the father sit..

hmm.. i don't know.. would it makes any difference anyway? ppl will always have something to say.. offering their 2cents worth of thought..but it was an eye opening sight for me..

for me, if you are driving and you feel like switching on the air-cond.. fine with me.. if you want to roll down the window and enjoy the gentle breeze.. fine with me too..

hmm.. ntah.. i live my life by my guts feeling.. i don't set rules..

others

AIDS. HIV... what do you think of this taboo subject? nothing? grossed by even the sight of this word? don't care? me? i just try to project my view as objective as a bystander can be..

years ago.. i got the chance to witness a person died of AIDS.. he was a good guy.. but as all good guys had been .. he made a mistake in his younger days.. a price he needes to pay dearly with his life..

he mingled with the wrong crowd.. he was introduced to drug.. he suffered a lot.. in his good days... he will accompany me playing tetris.. battlecity ...super mario bros.. favourite games back then.. during his "sooopeer dooperr" good days, he is barely the person i knew..

during his last day alive.. he begged someone - very dear to him I assummed.."last, nih memang last.. lepas nih dah tak lagih dah.." and it was true.. it was his last tube.. he was found dead few hours later... he was HIV +ve.

his death brought peace to some others.. why? he was a pond scum.. he was a disgraced to the community... but his death was also mourned by a number of ppl.. he was someone's son.. he was someone's brother... he was someone's friend.. someothers think of him as a kindhearted hardworking friend...

so.. what AIDS to you? what if your loved one is diagnosed as HIV +ve? will you shy away from him? or you will take the opportunity to bring awareness to the community.. eliminate the stigma that AIDS is bad.. you decide?

for me.. i got the chance to send him to his final resting place.. i got the chance to pay my last tribute during his close coffin ceremony.. ntah.. hopefully if i gone missing.. someone will notice..

komuniti

haha.. sy nak menulis lagih.. kemaruk.. ader org cakap.. sy tak pandai menulis... so?

baru2 nih sy dapat kesempatan to broaden my horizon.. sy ikut sorang lelaki nih pergi berjumpa dgn satu komuniti baru yang sebelum nih agak asing dgn sy... bukan diorg nih makhluk asing.. sy yang asing.. jakun..

sy dpt blajar.. mcmcm.. buat kuih koci.. daun pisang kuih koci nih kener potong dgn sudut2 tertentu dan dilipat mengikut cara2 yang tersendiri.. wehh.. payah tuh.. terkial2 jugak jari2 ku yang keras kejung nih nak membungkus..

sy dapat belajar menjadi wanita melayu .. berkain batik.. berbaju kedah... bersimpuh sopan bersama2 komuniti yang asing nih...

tp yang paling best.. sy dpt tengok mcmn komuniti ini berkomunikasi.. bertoleransi.... bekerjasama menyiapkan assignment masing2: goreng mee, goreng ayam, masak kari daging, masak sambal goreng, buat rojak, buat ayam masak kicap, masak nasi, buat air sirap bandung yang hebat, buat bubur cacar... all was done and completed within <3hours..

can i have this same harmony situation in my life.. ntah.. hope so..