elderly

born on the 4th july.. haha.. not me.. was born in june.. my 29th june was the most chaotic month of my life.. chaotic... disastrous.. hmm.. thank god.. june is over..

Aug.. many things happend in Aug 2008.. 23 aug... the last time i met my grandma - alive.. i was preparing to go for PTD exam that weekend.. arrived in jb at 10.30pm.. after dinner with a lelaki.. i went back to my ucu's place.. atuk, ucu and adam was lying in bed.. watching a malay soap opera.. was a funny movie... atuk was laughing..

before i went to bed.. atuk told me, "baju yang yan bagi atuk aritu dah siap. tak tau la atuk sempat pakai tak maser ko kawin.."

".. takper. nanti yan belikan tudung.."

i went to sleep. on 23 aug.. i woke up late.. while rushing preparing.. i heard atuk busying herself in the kitchen.. she made me a glass of tea.. she took the effort to cool it for me so that i dont have to wait.. it was the last drink she prepared for me.. i am glad i took the time to finish it..

after the exam, i went back home and continue with my life.. on Thursday.. i took sometime to shop for a tudung.. i chose a cream colour tudung to match atuk's new green baju kurung.. but she never get the chance to wear it.. she left us that saturday.. a day before the holy month of ramadhan..

i can't keep her out of my mind.. she was always there...

"yan cakapla dgn ***, cepat2. atuk hajat bila yan kawin nanti, atuk nak bagi yan satu kain songket..".. she gave it to me before i got married instead..hmm.. maybe she knew, she'll be leaving us soon..

"..yan suka makan kerak dodol.." this happened when i was 5 or 6 years old... but even long after that, she still keep some of the kerak dodol everytime she made it... ibu never understood the reason for this... but luckily i still remember..

it's almost a year since she left us..why do i still feel guilty over her death... hmm ntah..sorry for hiding the truth i guess..